He Wears The Coolest Suede Shoes When I Come in With the Blues

The weekend started off on a bad, bad note.  I got the world's worst haircut on Friday.  Generally, getting my haircut is my most favorite thing, next to spinning and knitting.  This experience has left me looking like Prince Valiant on a good day.  I will take the half of the blame in this situation though.  First, I called last minute to a new place to see if there was any openings.  She scheduled me for an appointment right away and I was there on time.  When I walked in, I noticed  the salon was celebrating Halloween and my stylist was dressed as Elvis.  He was having some serious issues trying to keep his tassels out of the way and his scissors straight.  This guy gave me the exact opposite of what I asked for.  Literally:  opposite.  I should have said something, but I felt like I would be imposing because he was in such a hurry.  But, I rarely complain in a service setting.  So, here I am with this ridiculous hair.  I guess I should be happy that I had Elvis and not the guy in the Lady Gaga costume.  Lady Gaga's outfit was really unwieldy.  At least this experience has given me the excuse I need to start working on hats.  Maybe I can rock a Raggedy Ann yarn wig?  It would certainly be an improvement to what my head looks like now. 

All the Sweetcraze are Gone

Starting your own business is hard.  Dieting is worse. 
I have been devoting all my spare time towards making yarn, custom orders, and other knits.  Now that I have started selling items, I feel a second wind of energy to get projects done to beef up the site.  I have taken on a lot of challenges this season with starting Cutthroat and Weight Watchers.  I came from a profession where my brain was always running, I was always busy.  Now, I feel like I have a lot of time.  Time to think.  Time to judge.  Time to be bored.  And, one can only read so many Tori Spelling books before you need to find something else to fill your thoughts.  Doing Cutthroat Yarn has kept my hands busy with a hobby I love.  Getting back into shape, a reasonable shape, has been more challenging.  The diet has occupied every aspect of worry of which my brain is capable.  I feel like I am forever bartering with myself, 'if I eat this fudge cookie, I will only eat lettuce for the rest of the day.'  Some days, I feel like I would trade my cat for an ice cream snickers.  But, only Mr. Cutthroat's cat. 
My brain is filled with food points and wool, which has edged thoughts of glitter and kittens out to an acceptable level for a person who isn't a preteen.  But, four orders and thirteen pounds feels pretty good, until that ice cream snickers craving hits.  

Come on Feel the Noise

It has been a long 24 hours.  The Harry Potter-athon went all night long.  There are 6 of those damn movies!  At 4 AM, I woke up to some kind of sorcery going on across the courtyard.  And, if I can't sleep, neither is Mr. Cutthroat.  I sent him over there to ask him to cast a audio reductus spell on the speakers.  I felt like I was watching a really boring version of Rear Window.  I could see Mr. Cutthroat at the door and the neighbor looking awkwardly through the peep hole and taking a split second to decide whether or not he was going to answer.  All in all, it ended well.  I think he was kind of embarrassed that he was 30ish and watching 12 hours worth of Ron Weasley.  I wonder if he looks into our apartment and sees how utterly lame we are over here.  He's probably thinking, "All that girl does is make yarn and the Gordon's Fisherman she lives with just watches Dances With Wolves."  I will say that I have attempted to do the Harry Potter-athon in many instances.  I just can't sit for that long without moving, especially during the Luna Lovegood stages.  Tonight, I am turning the air conditioner on.  In October.  I need one good night's sleep without hearing Lord Voldemort in my dreams, packing up my car with homemade life jackets, so we can go to the beach.  Dreams are definitely weirder with a subliminal Harry Potter message. 

You Can't Have One Without the Other Continued

Now that I am laying in bed, Mr Cutthroat has brought it to my attention that he is, in fact, watching Harry Potter and not Saw. Beatrix Lastrange gets me everytime.

You Can't Have One Without the Other

Tonight, I started my second journey into dyeing in the wool.  I decided to take the alpaca I have carded to do a blue/turquoise blend.  I am pretty excited about how it turned out.  I have one skein on the wheel now, and when that is complete, I am going to spin the blue alpaca.  I have yet to work with alpaca fiber on a wheel, so I am a bit geeky in saying that I can't wait. 
I hosted our knitting party tonight.  Along with the usual chatter and Sister Wives marathon playing in the background, there was a soundtrack of an nondescript horror movie playing from the guy across the courtyard.  He must be watching Saw.  That is the only thing I can figure.  At first, I was confused at what could possibly be happening on Sister Wives to warrant that much screaming.  Emerging from the kitchen, I realized that it was the guy across the way.  I am oddly drawn to Sister Wives and the more I think about it, the gay marriage advocates and the polygamists should get on the same page, in regards to marriage freedom.  Unlikely allies?  Yes.  Same basic goal?  Absolutely.  My only main issue with Sister Wives is that guy's goatee.  Yuck.  To make it fair, I could have 4 husbands.  But, that sounds like a terrible plan with a lot of work, not even remotely appealing. 

It's Breathing Down Your Neck

Last night was the first night in a few weeks that I have had the opportunity to bring out my spinning wheel.  I have been getting a lot of special orders through Etsy and friends and friends of friends.  And, because of this, I haven't had time to spin.  Let me be clear:  I am not complaining.  At this point, I have 6 ounces of carded alpaca that I am going to spend my day off tomorrow dyeing.  My goal this weekend is to finish up a knitting order and put up a skein on Etsy.  Basically, I am turning this place into a boot camp.  No one is safe.  I've got a lot of projects on the horizon and we are already getting into the holiday season.  There is no flexibility when knitting a gift for someone to give at Christmas.  Either you knit it on time and come through like a champ, or you utterly fail and they are without a present to give.  Perhaps if we can make Martin Luther King Jr. Day a national gift giving holiday, then it would give an extra few weeks and take some of the pressure off of the December 25th deadline.  I don't see that happening. 

In a World that Keeps on Pushin' Me Around

I was sitting in my house today, knitting quietly, watching "Cheaters" on G4.  As I left to pick up Mr. Cutthroat for a hot, diet friendly date, I picked up a note left at our doorstep.  To paraphrase, it said:  You guys get up early, yada yada yada, you are heavy walkers, I wished we lived on the top floor, blah blah blah, we should hang sometime if you stop being so loud, sincerely - condescending neighbors.  I don't jump out of bed everyday and do a jig.  I do, on the other hand, wear concrete slippers.  Maybe that's the problem.  But, I am not mad about the letter.  I get it.  I am slightly annoyed at the letter itself.  The margins were justified.  There were italics.  There were abbreviated names.  Bleh.  The most annoying, nails-on-chalkboard, terribleness of all is that they carved a pumpkin 2 weeks ago and it sits outside their door.  Amateur hour on the floor below.  It is too early to carve a pumpkin!  It is already molding.  I would like to write back some instructions on how to not be lame on or around Halloween.  It seems like they have bigger problems to worry about then my concrete slippers.  But, I digress.  I am going to take a cue from the video below and get going on some kitten mittens.

I Was Working in the Lab Late One Night

Boy, we have a lot to cover.  I have had thoughts running through my head this weekend and I will try to remember them all. 
1.  30 Rock fans out there?  Well, this past week, Alec Baldwin's character took up knitting and popped out with a shawl.  It reminded me of how many different movies and TV shows reference knitting and have little props to go with it.  How can I be a stunt knitter in the movies?  I will position yarn in aesthetically appealing ways in a kitschy basket.  And!  I can knit a mean shawl.  
2.  I finally finished my last sock.  Somehow, not as gratifying as it should have been.  I think I let that project ferment too long and it lost its luster once I bound off the toes.  And, I don't even wear socks.  The socks are officially out of my system.  The next time that I cast on socks, I want someone to remind me of this feeling right now. 
3.  This weekend, I went with some couples to a haunted farm situation for Halloween.  There was an unsettling phenomenon in the portrayal of scary ghosts dressed like old ladies with knitting paraphernalia.  One ghost was an old lady in a rocking chair, rocking about a hundred miles an hour.  Next to her chair, knitting needles.  You don't ever see creepy old men as golfers in a haunted house, just old spinsters.  There is apparently nothing more frightening than an old single lady.  Ooooh!  Spooky!
4.  The snickers is gone. 

Electric Youth!

The stocking-for-hire is going along quite well.  I am trucking through at a steady pace, as you can see here.  I really geeked it up today when I was trying to write a pattern in the middle of my stocking to spell out Merry Christmas.  I broke out an excel spreadsheet and graphed it out with colored cells.  Flipped it.  Reversed it.  Knitted it.  And, since I was never into playing musical instruments, it is physically impossible to "toot my own horn" but, it.. looks.. good.  To clarify, to look "good" means that it just needs to be legible.  I didn't want to make a stocking that said "Debby Gibsonas."  Knitting Rs are hard.  And, one better, knitting people into a stocking to the point where they don't look like aliens, also difficult.  I like having projects that are challenging.  I get bored pretty quickly with scarves and need to excite it up.  I may start making snowman sweaters, much to my mother-in-law's excitement.  By the way, she has been trying to get me to make a snowman sweater since I started knitting.  I just keep telling her I am allergic to knitted snowmen.  She is going to need to get her sweater from http://www.buyuglysweaters.com.  On that note, some of those sweaters are sold out!  My mother-in-law must have some kindred spirits. 

To Dream the Impossible Dream

Over the years, I have had a lot of goals.   Some are legitimate like start my own online yarn business and visit all the states.  Some are less than legitimate like become the world's first woman non-catholic pope and make out with Steve from Blue's Clues.  One of my new goals in life is to somehow find myself in the Cash Cab.  I know that I am going to have to work really hard or be really lucky to make this happen.  But, I make my own luck, much like the guy who made it on to a lifeboat in Titanic.  A few obstacles that I have immediately pinpointed are not living in New York City and the fact I would need to find one in 13,087 cabs.  When I get on that show, I am not going to speak superfluously.  Absolutely no jokes or cheering!  That is the number 1 problem with the people on that show.  Don't they understand he can ask more questions if they shut up!?  More questions equals more money.  To put this into motion, I need to take extended leave from work and relocate Cutthroat Yarn to the streets of NYC.  This isn't going to net any money, even if I make it into the Cash Cab.  They give out less than 2k.  But, a dream is a dream. 

Sometime, Anytime, Sugar Me Sweet

Today, I reached a low point.  The lowest point you can imagine, plus a few more feet down.  I am in the midst of a diet, and not one that includes forgetting to eat because I am in the midst of feverish knitting.  Today walking home and for the past few days, I have seen a half eaten snickers bar just carelessly tossed on the sidewalk.  I may have fantasized about what it would be like to eat it.  I have calculated the points in my head the past couple of times walking by it (3.5 to my best estimate).  I didn't pick it up.  I know that would be crossing the line.  But, I definitely thought about it.  A lot.  Now, I am going back to feverish knitting to keep me from baking something ridiculous and thus blowing my diet.   How will I ever get past this Halloween with fun size candy everywhere?  Maybe I could knit a picture of myself at my heaviest and it will keep my hands busy and at the same time serve as reinforcement.  This is an idea I need to explore...

If We Took a Holiday

God, I love Christopher Columbus.  There's nothing better than getting a day off of work to celebrate a guy who basically walked into someone's house and said, "Hey, I am discovering your place.  And, I am going to call it India."  Love it.  I will admit that today is probably the most ridiculous holiday that we get off.  To be fair, Mr. Cutthroat has a rougher gig than I do.  He is working hard under the florescent lighting.  Here I am-spending the time at home on a beautiful day rather than sitting in a cubicle.  Other holidays, ie. Veteran's Day, there is a legitimate reason for celebrating.  Columbus Day is literally celebrating some bully.  To celebrate this example of colonialism, I am going to knit the hell out of this Christmas stocking in the name of Columbus Day.  But, maybe after the sun sets.  It is way too beautiful outside that I can't sit still.  I could barely get this blog post done with the sun shining in my face. 

Cause That Was My Favorite Year

I am getting ready to start my first Christmas project of the season.  It seems like Christmas is so far off.  I guess we do have two more holidays between now and then.  But, if you don't get a jump on the red and green knits, you will succumb to the tryptophan and it is all downhill from there.  Last year, I was super ambitious and I made knits for all the ladies in my family.  This year, I have so much going on for Cutthroat Yarn on Etsy, and I am very happy for that.  I will barely have time to knit baby booties!  I am pretty sure the furry members of the Cutthroat family will be glad to hear I will not have time to knit them tiny hats and sweaters, as they are definitely not fans of my knitting.  I am anxious to get going on Christmas themes in my knitting.  Knit up some trees and Santas and break out the eggnog.  The year is almost over and it is hard for me to believe.  I feel as if I can remember every part of every day, although I am sure that is not the case.  I tend to leave the parts out of my memory where I have been embarrassed, wrong, or otherwise stupid.  And, although I am trying extremely hard, I cannot seem to forget the time when we rented Paul Blart: Mall Cop.  I am still working on that. 

Go On and Take It Off

I have had a lot of free time this week.  I mean, A LOT.  I have taken some naps, knitted some goods, and carded fiber.  Beyond that, I went to the grocery store 4 times this week.  I love LOVE love grocery shopping.  And, to a girl that has been on a diet for 20 years, it is like food porn.  During one of my trips this week, I was looking in the cosmetics aisle and ran across the scenario depicted here.  Why would they put Krazy Glue in the waxing section?  Is is possible to glue your eyebrow back on if you take off too much?  I have personally never tried it, but I seriously doubt it.  Is this what happened to Frida Kahlo?  Waxing is one of those things that once it's done, it's done.  Much like, for me, when I am knitting cables.  Once I screw that up, I might as well pull it out because I can't get back on track, as we have addressed in a previous post.  I am getting ready to start my first fair isle project and I am hoping there is a Krazy Glue option.  For those non-knitting readers:  fair isle is the type of knitting that incorporates a couple colors at once to make a groovy pattern. And, I say groovy because while some fair isle is beautiful, it is a fine line to walk before it looks very 70s.

Just One Sock, Now Baby I Believe

I can't remember the last time I commuted to work without hearing the song "Teenage Dream" by Katy Perry.  It appears to be on everyday, at any point in the day, either on the radio or on my IPod.  I cannot remember what my commute was like before "Teenage Dream," and maybe I don't want to.  That's how I feel about knitting my socks.  I started this project several months ago.  The first one, I zipped right through.  I was so excited about my progress that I forgot to do the other one.  Now, I am stuck in the middle of this &*^$ other sock.  I cannot remember what my life was like before I was knitting this second sock.  And, that is something I would rather forget.  Knitting socks always seems like a good idea at the time.  Then, you remember you have two feet.  I know that if I just sat down and committed to the sock, I could make it happen.  But, I can never justify spending time on things that are only for me.  It is a crime that socks take this long to produce.  They seem so small, and it lures me in with the fancy sock yarns.  No one ever sees them, though.  I need to try out baby booties.  With those, I could get the thrill of making socks out of my system for much smaller feet. 

So Much for the Afterglow

I am riding high on the fiber festival afterglow.  Mr. Cutthroat and I drove to the local fiber festival, where I entered my saffron skein in the handspun fiber division.  I was very happy with my very first competition and my very first ribbon!  I won 3rd place, and I think I could have taken first had I not tied my skein with commercial yarn.  Next year, I will not be making the same mistake.  Watch out, because I will be taking the blue ribbon next year.
I bought so many treasures at the festival that Mr. Cutthroat looked like a pack mule.  My pride and joy was this bag of fleece I bought.  It will be my first time taking it all the way through the process from alpaca to yarn.  I'd love to have my own yarn booth at a fiber festival some day.  The people at the booths are really, how should I say this in a diplomatic way, eccentric.  We walked into a booth with beautifully dyed roving and fiber.  I noticed the woman holding down the fort was wearing very intricate slippers that appeared as if they were hand knitted.  "Love your slippers," I told the woman.  "Thanks, I traded these for meat."  As she said it her face was so serious that it was as if she didn't even find what she said at all odd.  That pretty much describes 75% of fiber enthusiasts.  I want to be her someday.  I want to be all crazy in a fiber/yarn tent making odd comments to my patrons.  And, although I am not positive, I think Mr. Cutthroat could get on board with that.  He could grow Chester A. Arthur mutton chops and make people uncomfortable.  This could be a viable retirement option.

Who Says You Have to Unpack? Been All Around the World and That's a Matter of Fact

We are getting closer to being unpacked.  Yes, it has been a week.  Yes, normal people would have been hosting dinner parties by now in a box-free apartment.  Yes, we have about a quarter left to go.  But, I'm working on it!  Stop judging me!  We got the staples unpacked like plates, yarn, and my Felicity box set.  We are able to function day to day with the things we have already unpacked.  It is just the other stuff that we don't immediately need that is just dragging on.  I  cannot justify unpacking my books when I could be knitting.  There's always have something else I would rather be doing.  I'd rather play Boggle, I'd rather paint my fingernails, I'd rather do laundry, I'd rather spin, etc.  Today is no different as it is Sheep and Wool time.  We are heading down to fiber festival this afternoon regardless of how this apartment looks.  Not to mention, the rains have lifted and the sun is shining, lighting the way to the Fall Fiber Festival!