Monday, October 31, 2011

I Hear the Mighty Thunder

Who wears a slutty _____ costume to work? 

Today, I found myself asking that a lot.  At times, the blank was filled with witch, cat, bee, and nurse.  Actually, the nurse may have just been going to work, sexily administering an IV or erotically changing a bandage.  Why is that even a sexy option?  Most of what nurses do grosses me out because of blood, urine, vomit, and who knows what else.  I can kind of understand the theory behind sexy witch.  Some guys dig the mean girl vibe.  I just can't get the point of dressing up in white and saying, "May I empty your bedpan?" in a whispery voice.  Anyway, I digress.  Which office has the option to slut it up in lieu of wearing a suit?  Certainly not mine.  I feel uncomfortable wearing a sleeveless shirt.  For Halloween, I always dress up as something totally weird or gross.  I always misplace the memo about looking attractive on October 31st. 

But, I didn't dress up as anything this year!  Mr. Cutthroat and I made no plans and it feels weird.  Also, we live in an area where we get no trick-or-treaters.  A sad double whammy!  If I could take my cat out trick-or-treating, I would.  I love Halloween. 

We did make it to a haunted house this year, against Mr. Cutthroat's wishes.  It was an outdoor trail.  And, I should mention that it was 35 degrees.  The trail was great, although I was a little thrown off by the music selection being played by the waiting area DJ.  At first, we thought the music was decent with a little bit of Jay-Z and Lady Gaga.  Then, as our group was waiting to be scared by teenagers wielding chainsaws, "How Great Thou Art" begun to play.  Wait, was this a Hell House?  By the time I got to the room with the heavy metal and clowns, I knew that it wasn't.  Side-stepped that landmine! 

Next year, I am vowing to dress up.  I am going to take over a friend's house in a well-populated area in order to hand out candy.  And, I am going to find a Hell House. 


Thursday, October 13, 2011

I Don't Want to Wait for Our Lives to be Over

I haven't been knitting.  Most of my yarn arts time has been spent spinning yarn and dyeing fiber.  But, with a couple of projects promised and the need for a mohair sweater, I picked up my knitting needles for the first time in months.  The very last thing I have knitted was the terrible, awful, no good, tiny needle cashmere scarf.  I will say that once I picked up my needles and my stitch book, I fell right back into it like I knitted a whole wardrobe yesterday.  And, stranger yet, I knitted with my own yarn.  I have only made one item out of yarn that I actually spun.  It was the second skein I have ever done and I had just enough to make a hat.  Now, I think of how long it takes to make a skein, and then how long it will take to knit something and I cannot justify spending the time on myself.  Certain things I won't even make for myself out of commercial yarn because I cannot justify the time spent on the project.  I have spent a lot of time on this blog talking about socks and how they are a waste of time.  In my mind, there would never be a larger waste of time than to spin yarn to knit socks from.  That's probably a good Dawson's Creek marathon for a pair of socks.  How did the pioneers do it?  And, without James Van Der Beek.  All in all, I am glad that I am knitting again.  It is definitely more portable than the wheel.  And, with Christmas coming, I always have a lot of projects to turn out.  I have to keep my mind and needles sharp for special orders of purses, stockings, and lingerie.  That's right, lingerie.  I will make anything.  I am for sale.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Billy Bob Loves Charlene

I wish I was one of those people who was content to just hang out.  I desperately want to be one of those people who sits on her couch, watching TV and drifting in and out of sleep for two full days.  I feel like those are the people who are at work early and rarely yawn.  I am not one of those.  This weekend, I convinced Mr. Cutthroat that it would be a great idea to bake a bunch of candies, cookies, and treats and become a vendor at the local sheep and wool festival.  For those of you who are keeping score at home, this is one week after we just walked the Susan G. Komen 60 Miler and two weeks after we moved into a new home.  So, we did.  I spent my nights this week baking and packaging sweets.  Saturday we packed up the car and drove down and set up our modest booth that looked more like a bake sale outside of a church.  But, we were successful.  (And, thank the heavens we were because I would have never heard the end of my failure!) We were successful in the sale and also in yarn.  Cutthroat Yarn took home 3rd place in the handspun yarn division.  If you are interested, this is the skein:  Grimace 
I would love to eventually have enough yarn to sell at a booth, but I would need to work two years to have the stock built up.  I have to say that it wasn't that stressful after the baking was completed.  I brought my wheel and spun yarn while Mr. Cutthroat handed out samples to passersby.  People watching at a fiber festival is always a good time.  Knitters will show up wearing hand knitted items that are beyond reason.  As long as I live, no one will ever be able to explain the need for a pair of knitted shorts.  Anyway, our booth was stationed between the ice cream truck's noisy generator and the sample John Deere tractors.  The tractors were basically climbing instruments for children.  Also, they had a horn.  All day Saturday, children would climb up and blow the horn for way too long of a time.  By the time I got back to the hotel, I felt like I had shell shock.  Every time I heard a horn on the street, I would jump.  And as if my prayers had been answered, someone disabled the horn on Sunday.  If I knew who that person was, I would have probably spent twenty minutes in a passionate embrace with them. 
The festival was a great experience, as it always is.  I will likely do it again.  But, I need to jazz it up with a Cutthroat logo and sign.  Maybe Mr. Cutthroat could dress up as a giant bearded cookie?  Yes!