Monday, February 28, 2011

Everybody Must Get Stoned

Cashmere Scarf Update:  I AM ALMOST DONE.  I got so much done last night during the Oscars, it was unbelievable.  I didn't feel guilty for watching TV with idle hands.  They were most certainly busy.  The cashmere ball is now down to the size of a mutant golf ball.  As far as the show goes, I was happy overall.  Mr. Cutthroat and I made it through 8 of the Best Picture nominees and 1 foreign language film, which was great progress.  For some reason, I couldn't force 127 Hours on myself, and we just didn't get around to The Fighter.  I will say that if I could go the rest of my life without another Melissa Leo moment, I would consider that a victory.  Something about her personality really irks me.  Watching her acceptance speech was like nails on a chalkboard.  And, I don't even care about the infamous F bomb.  She is just so fake and she couldn't even squeeze out one single tear.  Also, I could have seriously lived without the foreign language film clips with the guy trying to kill a tiny kitten with hedge trimmers.  Not nice.  That movie clip had an overall negative reaction at my Oscar Party.  Needless to say, I will not be renting any foreign language films from Greece in the foreseeable future.  By the way, was James Franco completely high?  My magic 8 ball says:  signs point to yes.  He sounded more stoned than Kirk Douglas.  That guy was stoned too, right? 

Monday, February 21, 2011

Ice Age Heat Wave, Can't Complain

Tonight is all about dye! 
A few festivals ago, I bought some organic dye.  I bought a sample pack with several colors.  I figured that I would get a good sense of color and be able to play around with a bunch of small quantities.  Everything I have dyed with it has totally, utterly failed.  I cannot make it work.  The dye always looks great, then washes out almost completely.  I have tried every technique, every mordant, every single thing.  Bottom line:  I hate it.  Screw organic. 
I have bought some conventional dye and it is working like a dream.  Tonight, I made a lavender dye and the wool is beautiful.  It held its color.  The directions were very simple.  Now, provided this spins nicely, this will get the Cutthroat endorsement, for what that's worth. 
Although I have not had success with the organic hot mess, I have done well with food dyeing.  I am skipping the organic dye from now on.  I get that organic is the way of the future.  I know that everyone should shop at Whole Foods and be chemical free and happy.  But, I just can't.  Every adventure into Whole Foods makes me feel like I am not wearing enough hemp to stand in the checkout.  They don't even have jello.  I can never be the kind of people that live the organic life.  I will say that organic vegetables taste so good.  But, that lifestyle requires an energy I just don't have in me.  What I can be, is the type of person that shops local, recycles, breaks for animals, and generally tries to be a good person.  Those things I feel I am pretty good at.  I even tried to be a bicycle rider this weekend, after a 23 year break from being on one.  It was painful.  I am told by M'arg'ttie that it is a simple case of bike butt and it is something that you get used to.  I guess that is just something that the organic culture is in general-something you have to get used to.  And, if they want to get me on board, I need better organic dye!  I can't knit in only natural tones!  Pinks and purples are the only way into my heart. 

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

I Could Be Purple, I Could Be Anything You Like

Tonight, I started to get serious.  We are getting close to the latest round of Sheep and Wool Festivals and I intend to win more ribbons.  I have so many ideas floating through my head for colors and spinning, and I need to make it happen.  I was tempted to buy a cashmere fleece online today.  But, when it came down to it, my brain started screaming:  DEAR GOD!!  WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO YOURSELF!?!  YOU HATE THIS CASHMERE YARN AND NOW YOU WANT TO MAKE MORE!?!?!  YOU ARE AN IDIOT!! 
Good point, inner monologue.  I will probably never even be able to wear a cashmere sweater ever again due to this scarf.  And, I am sure you will all be happy when I finish so you will never have to read about it again. 
But, back to my dye shop in my kitchen...  I find that merino takes on the best color and I never get tired of working with it.  I would like to work with more reds and orange colors.  I tend to live by the philosophy of the brighter the better.  It also might be helpful to do colors that may work for men.  I seem to make an endless supply of lady yarn that would be impossible for a male to pull off.  Whatever I decide to submit for the yarn competitions, I know it has to be spectacular.  I crave ribbons! 

Monday, February 14, 2011

Baby, I'm Howlin for You

Oh, how I love Valentine's Day!

I love paper hearts, red knitted hearts, glittery hearts.  This year, I didn't knit anything in particular for Valentine's Day.  I am still stuck on the cashmere.  (Yeah, I know.  So terrible!  I am not even going to start talking about it because it will make me angry all over again.)
I legitimately used to be on the other side, before meeting Mr. Cutthroat.  I used to think that the holiday solely devoted to love was a waste of a day.  At that point, no one ever bought be flowers.  No one ever spent 3 hours trying to get me the best damn Taylor Swift tickets one can ever get.  No one ever made me a Barbie cake for my birthday.  No one ever washed and beat my fiber.  Wow.  That sounds terrible.
Let's be honest:  even if I didn't have my husband, I would be celebrating my love for my spinning wheel.   I really, really love that thing.  If this was a different era, I might have considered marrying it.  Actually, what am I thinking?  It is a girl spinning wheel and that would just be wrong!  (Note sarcasm.) 
When this bearded hunk walked into my life, I was happy to have Valentine's Day.  I hope cupid and the lovebirds can forgive me for being an enemy for so long.  Now, I have embraced my love for glittery hearts.  Today, I wrote a pattern for some beautiful knit hearts.  I am not sure what I will use them for yet.  And, since I  swore a blood oath to knit only the cashmere, I decided to write patterns instead.  Even now, I am trying to celebrate my love for my husband and yarn, although not equally, I am haunted this stupid cashmere yarn.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

You Can't Say I Don't Love You Just Because I Cheat On You

I am so not myself these days.  I am in a rut.
Lately, I have been so scattered in life and I cannot seem to get my act together.  While normally, I would be the one sitting home on a Saturday night spinning yarn, lately I am the one going out and acting like a 20 year old.  (My 20 year old days were pretty awesome, thanks Melissa's ID.)  Maybe it is the weight loss; 32.5 pounds total.  Maybe it is the winter; very dreary these days.  Maybe it is my impending milestone birthday; 6 months away.  I haven't spun yarn in over a week.  I halfheartedly knitted the cashmere scarf these past few days.  I am cheating on knitting with margaritas, dinners, happy hours, concerts, shopping, and Guitar Hero.  Maybe a class will help to pull me out of this rut.  I have always wanted to learn to make art yarn.  Winter is such a great time to knit because it is cold and you are drinking wine in front of a fireplace.  But, somehow I am super motivated in the summer.  At waterparks.  And, beaches. 
Another alarming change:  I am spending more and more time talking in my cat voice.  It is this baby-talking voice about 3 octaves above my normal voice.  (Anyone with a pet has a voice.  I refuse to believe otherwise.  If you don't have a pet voice, don't tell me.  That would be like telling me that Bill Clinton isn't real.)  The cat voice makes up about 70-85% of my daily speech at home.  As soon as I see my husband, my r's turn to w's.  Tomorrow, I am going to take it down 5%.  Gotta start small.  
I could be finally finding my groove.  I think that it is possible to be a career gal, while owning a teeny tiny business, and losing weight.  It is just hard to keep them all together and even keel.  Is it possible that everything doesn't need be done rightthissecond at break-neck speed?  What is my life going to be like with kids?  Something will have to give.  And, that something will likely be me in the role of the mom from What's Eating Gilbert Grape?  If that was the case, I am sure I would get a crap-ton of knitting done.  I wouldn't be able to move very far.  I would just yell until my kids bring me knitting and fried chicken.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Yesterday's Gone, Yesterday's Gone

I have been quite the lazy knitter lately.  I have shelved a lot of projects and I just can't make myself pull them back out.  Christmas was very hectic; a lot of orders, yarn requests, and the like.  Now, I can't seem to motivate myself out of my knitting rut.  Don't get me wrong, I am still loving knitting.  I just need to finish all these boring projects so I don't feel bad about picking up something new.  I have a cashmere scarf, as previously mentioned in blog posts, and I cannot finish it.  I get so angry every time I look at it.  I am going to make a commitment to finish it today.  Or, maybe this month.  I could have knitted a million things in the time it has taken to me do this scarf.  One lesson learned for this project:  tiny needles are the devil.  I have a lot of ideas for things I want to do for my Etsy Shop.  And, I am being handcuffed by one hat and one scarf.  Hopefully, the next time I write, I will have one or both of those things done. 

Saturday, February 5, 2011

What Would You Say?

In an ongoing quest to see all the Oscar-worthy performances of last year, we saw The King's Speech tonight.  It was very good.  Acting was great.  Although, I will say that I had a hard time distinguishing Scabbers away from Winston Churchill.  Yes, I hear how that sounds.  But, enough about the movie, there is another thing I want to discuss.
Why, why, why, why do old ladies insist on making noise during a movie?  This is the precise reason that I like going to the theater for shows like, Get Him to the Greek.  There are no old ladies there.  And, if they accidentally stumbled in, mistaking it for something akin to The Queen, they would quickly leave.  If one old lady wasn't bad enough, they always travel in packs.  They pass each other butterscotch candies and ask if the other one is awake.  Phrases like "What did he say?" and "I don't care for that language!" is common place.  Mr. Cutthroat gets wildly uncomfortable when I turn around and stare angrily.  I will absolutely say anything to anyone in a theater if they talk.  Just ask Cousin Abu Dabie about the time when I yelled at a girl during the History of Violence.  In my defense, the nature of the movie made that argument escalate rather quickly.  At the last Harry Potter midnight showing, some girl was behind me and asked her date when Voldemort came on the screen, "Is he a bad guy?"  1) The midnight show is for fans.  2) Yes, the guy who resembles a snake torchering the girl on camera is in fact a bad guy.  I shut her down immediately with, "No!  We are NOT doing this."  With The King's Speech, I should expect the old ladies.  But, I will never grow to like them.  In 90 years when I am as old as the ladies behind me tonight, there will probably be no theaters.  I will be sitting in my chair, shushing my cats.  That reminds me:  must pick up Wether's Originals.