You Better Beware, and Don't Go There

One piece of advice:  Never Google "hot ass cucumber."

I spent much of my weekend sitting on the couch knitting and spinning while Mr. Cutthroat perused random cooking shows.  I think he is loving all the special orders I have taken in so he isn't forced to travel outdoors, or really even shower.  He was watching the Barefoot Contessa and I was spinning yarn, not really focused on the television, except to make observations here and there.  She was making a "feast" for a dinner with her friends.  And, I say feast in quotes because she make some lamb skewers, spanakopita (or as my mother says Spank-O-Pita), and a Greek salad.  Definitely not a feast.  But, then again, this could be why I am fat.  To others, this might be a feast.  In the midst of her making this "feast," she said that she was going to cube a hot ass cucumber.  I was only half paying attention but, I swear this is what she said.  My husband and I kept rewinding it over and over again.  So, I told my husband to do what ever good American does in this circumstance:  Google it.  We did not find the information for which we were looking.  We did, on the other hand, find a lot of information about people who really, really, really love cucumbers.    There is a whole subset of the population who have cucumber fetishes.  And, even fewer still who have a foot and cucumber fetish.  Yikes!  I am going on record to say that I never want to do anything that I found by Googling hot ass cucumber.  I felt like my innocence was robbed due to the Barefoot Contessa's inability to clearly articulate what kind of cucumber I am supposed to use in a homemade tzatziki sauce.  What a jerk!